What’s In A Name? The Awesome Ability to Vote, Apparently

Sigh. January was 5,000 years long. Civilizations rose and collapsed while we watched endless parades of performative but meaningful executive orders get signed. We confirmed to key cabinet positions people who spouted about merit based hiring while seemingly wildly unaware of the concept of irony. We wept. And sometimes laughed. But it was hollow. I waited desperately for John Oliver to return to my tiny screen (I always watch on mobile because I watch on YouTube) to make me laugh in my nihilism. As I doom scrolled, the only scrolling possible in 2025, I saw some concerning information about disenfranchisement.We’ve talked before about the importance of verifying terrifying social media posts, so I decided to do that. Assuring myself that my ability to vote wasn’t at risk. Right!? RIGHT!?

I mean. We’re here so… Lets do some linking so you can all verify me! The SAVE Act, or Safeguard American Voter Eligibility Act, is framed as a way to promise integrity in our elections. Something I think, I hope, we all want. No one wants elections to be fraught with fraud. It’s a cornerstone of democracy to have free and fair elections. Of course, as with the myriad of other times throughout our history where caveats have been added to who can vote, it threatens our unimpeachable rights. And make no mistake, voting is a right. It isn’t a privilege, set aside for those who can afford or gain access to it or that someone deems worthy of it. It is a right. I’m sure we all know people and have thought, damn you can vote? But yes, they can and they should be allowed to no matter how idiotic they might be.

So who is being disenfranchised this time?

I’m sure you can all guess who isn’t targeted. The wealthy, and men will be just fine. Breathe a sigh of relief. I know you guys were sweating it. The largest group by numbers that is at risk are married women. Many of whom have changed their name at some point but never their birth certificate. Damn, I knew I forgot something! The process of changing your name is, frankly, a giant pain in the ass. I’ve done it twice. Making me even more tantalizing to disenfranchise. Sometime I’ll tell the hilarious story of how I shit my brains out on the way to court when I was 12 and made the first change. But anyone with a name change, like trans people or those who’ve been adopted or even if your parents gave you some stupid ass name and you changed it, is at risk of losing their access to vote. Smarter, more knowledgeable people have already written about this. There are many explanations if you are interested in reading up on the act after reading the text for yourself.

What will this change about voting?

1st, because documentation has to be presented in person, anything relating to registering or voting will now have to be done in person. No more online get out the vote drives. No more DMV voting registrations. No more mail in voting of any kind. I haven’t seen a good explanation of how this will work for the military but it’s possible they just won’t be allowed to vote. I expect that is what the plan is for college students and anyone out of town or working during election day. Disenfranchising the poor is always a favorite pastime of some ideological viewpoints. 2nd, documentation would be limited. A driver’s license is not gonna cut it. Are you perhaps an international traveller? Well, awesome! Passports work. But those are expensive, time consuming to acquire and frankly a poll tax. I don’t have a passport, so I’d be buying one just to vote. Poll tax. Thought we made those unconstitutional? Yep, yep. It’s number 24.

What do we do?

Guys. And honestly, I’m so incredibly sorry to say this, but we have to make some phone calls. Emails, letters, and faxes (IDK why I said that, does anyone even have one of those dinosaurs?) have long been considered far less effective than phone calls. God, why does maintaining the rights that we ALREADY FOUGHT FOR have to be so arduous? I do not like to have a phone call. Send me a text. Mostly you’re going to get voicemail, anyway. Leave a message with that or whatever poor underpaid intern has to take all the angry calls. Like, however, many times a day you have the spoons for. I don’t have the spoons to explain spoons, so I’ll leave a link. Then do it again tomorrow. BE A MENACE. Here is a script you can use. Read it in an accent if you’re feeling fancy.

My book rec today is one I read in 2016. It spoke to my soul and understood my rage. Check out Good and Mad. Revolutionary anger has done great things. Channel it. Also refill your meds. Now isn’t the time to go cold turkey on those suckers.