We Need to Talk About Family Vloggers Part 1

Sheri Franke’s book, The House of My Mother, released this past Tuesday, and it details her experience as the child of a family vlogger. I put it as an add-in book with my Book of the Month selection, expecting it to be both distressing and enlightening. I’ve seen videos of Sheri, now an advocate for children whose lives are curated and monetized for our viewing pleasure, speak before government officials about the impact of her unusual upbringing. She advocates for more protection for minors involved in online content creation. Her strength and advocacy in the face of her experiences make her both an incredible human and a qualified expert in the real impacts of this lifestyle on children of family vloggers.

We are approaching a bit of a nexus in family vlogs. The children of the earliest vloggers are growing up and understandably, increasingly frustrated by the unregulated, free-for-all of content creation that continues to turn a blind eye to the children involved. Much like in the early days of child actors, we need to implement protections, or the industry will remain primed for exploiting and traumatizing the children involved. It is high time for these voices to be heard.

The book begins with Sheri telling us the story of her life before 8 Passengers. She talks about how her mother was already concerned with appearances, controlling, and prone to outbursts. Ruby Franke’s self-worth was deeply interconnected to being, or at least appearing, superior. This was especially true when it came to being a mother. Documenting herself online was an opportunity for her to show the world how incredible she was. Ruby started with blogging but soon, after seeing her sisters have success, she moved on to vlogs.

Sheri delves into how life changes when you become a vlogger. Everything is content. Embarrassing or important moments in life are especially likely to bring in views. The parents are consenting and even eager participants. Children, however, are simply thrust into the public spotlight. Friends, teachers, crushes, can all see every uploaded moment. Children are bribed or threatened into acting the part of a perfect family. An act that they can rarely turn off with the camera always running. Sheri was already an anxious child. Suffering from panic attacks and engaging in a pattern of self-criticism that further exacerbated her anxiety. She received almost nothing in the way of support from Ruby. Her short stint in evidence-based therapy ended the moment the therapist helped Sheri place boundaries on her mother’s exploitation. But therapy wouldn’t end for Sheri. Soon her mother had someone new. Someone who would bring the family nothing but trouble.

This is when Jodi Hildebrant entered into the Franke’s home. Jodi ran ConneXions. A group that Sheri Franke refers to as a cult. Expensive courses, training, and therapy sessions were the cornerstone of ConneXions. Ruby was quickly pulled into the fold and began her assent through the ranks, taking any of Jodi’s advice without question, even promoting ConneXions to her audience. Jodi felt Sheri could benefit from intensive one-on-one sessions. Ruby signed her up despite Sheri’s protests. These sessions were used to manipulate Sheri, and they worsened her anxiety. For a time, Sheri was fully in Jodi’s clutches, embracing her terrible advice. Eventually, incredibly, Sheri saw through Jodi.

This is where the first half leaves us. As Sheri is breaking free. Her story is a cautionary tale to us. As we, internet users, are the audience for what happened. Our views and likes, our engagement, are what allow for these channels to stay afloat. I don’t know what level of filming and posting of children is appropriate, but as Sheri herself told us, if children are being monetized as a commodity, there is no amount that’s acceptable.

Sheri chooses to protect her siblings but not naming them in her book. Let’s continue this in any discussions.

You can grab The House of My Mother at Amazon or Bookshop. * I am an affiliate at both.

Read part 2 here.