Guys, we are going way back. We meet a woman named Victoria (Paula Lindbloom) as she is partaking in the standard Ed and Lorraine Warren interview. So she’s probably had a rough go of it lately. Just a hunch. It transpires that her father had been hearing voices in their antique shop. He thought Victoria was being followed by something malevolent. Victoria, for her part, thought he was full of shit. Until she found him hanging one day.
Not one to be limited by the bounds of death, the spirit calls out to Victoria. She hears it from the storeroom. Which is full of creepy clocks and dolls and is so obviously haunted I’m surprised they don’t do tours. We see Lorraine now, pregnant and hella young. (Madison Lawlor) Lorraine finds a mirror topped 3 angel cherubs/heads for some inexplicable reason that calls out to her. This mirror is hideous. It isn’t the point, but it isn’t unimportant.
Lorraine is clearly young and stupid here because she reaches out and touches it. She sees an evil Lorraine in the mirror and flashes of, idk, bad times. Probably. For us, it was just spooky imagery. Then instantly goes into labor. So, for all of you mainlining castor oil, you really just needed an evil mirror. The demon follows Lorraine and Ed to the delivery room, where they loom in the back like an uninvited family member to watch the crowning. For a long minute, it seems like Judy is stillborn, but miraculously, she lives.
Cue Judy grows up montage. The only important thing here is that Lorraine teaches her to shut out all of her visions by closing her eyes and reciting a poem. Cause demons can’t hang with iambic pentameter.
Time to meet this episode’s horribly tormented family. We meet the Smurls in the now formulaic one-shot opener. It was cool and interesting the FIRST time. Now I know it’s coming. Surprise me. It’s confirmation day for one of the Smurls 4 daughters. Heather? (Kila Lord Cassidy) I think. Or Dawn? (Beau Gadsdon) Anyway, they give her a cake, for some reason, and candles. She tries to blow them out, but something beats her to the punch. She thinks it’s Dawn. Probably. Assuming Heather is the confirmation girl. She is also gifted one hideous mirror. I bet you can guess which one.
By the way. Did you know this was all super true? If you didn’t, the crawl has you covered.
The Warrens are sitting down to a nice family dinner. Ed and Lorraine retired from hunting demons because of Ed’s ever worsening heart condition and are regaled to sharing their stories to crowds of up to 5 people.
Lorraine notices that Judy (Mia Tomlinson) is warding off her visions. She sees a demon hand reach up from behind her, but it quickly vanishes.
The mirror has already gotten to work in the Smurl house. Mom, Janet (Rebecca Calder), is just trying to do laundry for 6 freaking people when we see something creeping in the shadows behind her. Thankfully, he is vanquished by the lights. The least he could do is swap a load or two. She heads back upstairs without incident.
The youngest Smurl, Shannon (Molly Cartwright), gets the worst scare in the entire movie. Maybe franchise. She is having a tea party with one of those 80s dolls that crawls. And electronic toys then were already a mess of crossed wires and malfunction and occasional fire hazards. So strange things happening with them were not all that unusual. If it didn’t kill you, it was functioning just fine. But her doll crawls away with an odd degree of purpose.
She follows into the older girls’ room where it flops to the floor and sits. It is not meant to sit. But that could be all 80s oddness. Then it floats, and that is when shit gets real. Just when I think this thing wants to be the next Annabelle and I cannot with another wannabe popstar doll in this franchise, a face just pops behind it. I jumped, my teen jumped. The 3 other people in the theater jumped and one probably passed out. I heard the projector operator run for his life. Ya got me, Conjuring. Damn.
No one believes the kid when she tells them. Obviously. But still, sucks for her.
The older girls, Dawn and Heather, are hanging out in the bedroom, contemplating the creepiness of the giant mirror that now occupies at least 10% of the space in their room. Dawn suggests they throw it out with the trash. Surely no one will notice. They are smarter than anyone else in these movies. Ever. We actually see the trash truck pick it up and crush it. Evil has been destroyed, we live to fight again!
Actually, Dawn starts coughing up blood. And shattered mirror shards. This thing fights back.
Ed is getting old. He is having a birthday party and Judy is bringing her new boyfriend Tony (Ben Hardy). If you know anything about the real Warrens, you already know where this is going. The instant she enters the house, Judy is haunted by Annabelle because one trilogy was not enough for that doll. Tony sees Judy upset and walks into her room to check on her. And then help her relax with a quick makeout shesh, which Lorraine walks in on. Tony ends up going to hang out with Ed while the girls talk.
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Ed is doing the obnoxious macho dad thing and gives him a tour of all the haunted stuff. During a party. Then he hazes him with ping-pong. Ping. Pong. Cool dad.
Tony is apparently feeling pretty confident after the match because, a whole 6 months into their relationship, he asks Ed if he can marry Judy. Lorriane is fully on board, but Ed hesitates, even though he and Lorraine knew each other for about half a second before they got married. It looks like things are not going Tony’s way when Judy walks in, sees the ring and accepts his proposal. It’s wedding time, bitches, and Ed is gonna need to get on board.
Of course, this is the Warrens, so we can’t just pop off into wedded bliss without some demon’s joining the fun. Father Gordon stops by to wish Ed a happy birthday and request his services in helping the Smurls. Ed and Lorraine explain for the millionth time that they are retired. We still don’t believe them. Because this movie exists.
The Smurl haunting is picking up after the girls attempt to destroy the mirror. Everyone but Dad has experienced something. Don’t worry though, this is an equal-opportunity demon. As he sleeps, Dad lifts into the air. As I wait for the moment a demon pukes into his mouth, they actually subvert my expectations by having the demon peek out from the foot of the bed. Thank god. Congrats on having a little self-control there, Conjuring.
The haunting continues downstairs, where Heather is rewatching the video of her confirmation party. Just as she goes to blow out the candles, a face appears and blows them out first. Demons do the oddest shit. As soon as she realizes the extent of the haunting, a new ax-wielding maniac appears to make everything worse.
By the next morning, the Smurls have called in every news organization within a 100-mile radius desperate to find some answers and help.
Judy is speed running wedding planning. She and Lorraine are already hitting up the bridal stores, where they stick Judy in a circular room full of mirrors. Absolutely not. No one needs a horror attraction to try on a wedding dress. In typical Warren fashion, Judy’s experience is more haunted than the average bride. She hears a tapping on the glass and turns to see one of the hundreds of reflected Judys is responsible. As bad as that is Judy is about to have a much worse time because the dress of her skirt is full of demons. One pops out, slithers up, and touches her face. At no point does Judy try to leave this room. Finally, tapping Judy punches through the mirror and chokes real Judy. Eventually, the bridal consultant hears the screaming and frees her. Judy buys the dress.
Father Gordon sees the commotion at the Smurl house. He offers his help. Mom is very grateful. They have begged the church for help but so far have had no luck. Gordon walks through the house, blessing it with holy water. In the basement, the holy water burns and evaporates around him. Recognizing this as both unusual and a sign of demonic activity, Father Gordon tells the Mom he is headed to the church office to request immediate help.
The secretary tells him to wait for the Cardinal. His nose starts to bleed, and while he is distracted, the secretary vanishes. Just poof. Were they ever there? The desk phone rings. Father Gordon answers and hears Judy tell him to leave, but the doors slam shut. Demons and their games. He holds up a cross for protection, but it lights a flame as he is possessed and ends his own life.
The Warrens attend the funeral. Judy touches his coffin as she says her last goodbye and is struck with a vision. She asks about where the father was found.
Tony arrives at the Warren’s with incredibly expected news. Judy has run off to help the Smurls. Why are we all acting shocked? Now these three rush off to bring Judy back. Not to help the Smurls. No Smurls will be helped. Lorraine is clear about this.
When the Warrens show up at the Smurl residence, they practically throw a party. They are thrilled to be getting help from the experts. I could not leave these people after that, but Lorraine grabs Judy and tries to force her to leave. Judy refuses, explaining that this family desperately needs help. Lorraine gives in.
Judy and Lorraine hear something upstairs. Lorraine insists that Judy doesn’t get involved and goes to investigate by herself. She sees something on the bed, then behind her, and it tells her to come to the basement. I’m not in the habit of listening to demons, but to each their own. Lorraine has an intense vision of 3 spirits controlled by something else. We have seen this movie before. She explains this all to Ed on the front porch.
Judy hears Lorraine call her to come upstairs. We know Lorraine is outside, but I guess Judy missed the memo. I mean. Lorraine wouldn’t be calling Judy upstairs after specifically telling her to stay out of it, so Judy is still being a bit stupid here. She finds the scary mirror, and yep, she touches it. Stop just touching things. Suddenly the walls are covered with the words, ‘Miss Me?’. And a GIANT Annabelle doll is chasing her. Get out of this movie. No one needs you here. But to be fair, she is more menacing the size of 3 polar bears.
Ed and Lorraine check out the mirror. Lorraine recognizes it from when she and Ed first encountered it but says it has changed. I’m sure it would say you have too, Lorraine. We can’t stay young forever. Ed says they need to take it away and give it a little exorcism.
Ed enlists the Smurl Dad to help him carry the mirror to the car. They need to cover it and to wear gloves. No bare-hand touching allowed. Tony leaves to pull the car around while the two dads wrangle the mirror. The Smurl Dad gets flustered and ends up dropping the mirror on his ankle. He is out of commission now. An old lady appears on the road in front of Tony, causing him to crash. The demon has reached peak activity.
Judy is fully possessed. She locks Lorraine in the basement and hurts the dog. THE DOG BETTER BE OKAY! (He is. But I was bereft in the theater.) She reaches down to give Ed another heart attack. There has to be some maximum on these things. Ax guy heads to finish Lorraine off but Tony to the rescue! He is gaining elite son-in-law status tonight. They find Judy hanging in the attic but save her in time. This mirror is not finished. It hurls itself at the family, pinning Tony under it and forcing them back toward the wall. Lorraine tells Judy she needs to stop hiding (well, who told her to do that??) and with the combined power of Ed, Lorraine, and Judy they are able to stop the mirror and shatter it, saving Tony.
Oh, and then Tony and Judy get married. And he takes over the family business.
I think this is the weakest movie in the franchise, except for The Devil Made Me Do It. It serves to wrap up Ed and Lorraine’s story and introduce Tony more than to really provide a good horror story. It isn’t a bad movie. It just isn’t as scary as previous outings for the franchise.
For more scares go back to the Conjuring and start all over to see the full story.
Donna is an author and engineer with 15 years of IT experience and a lifetime love of literature and cinema, especially horror. She has written a paranormal Holiday novel, What Creatures Are Stirring. She holds and Electrical Engineering Degree from the University of Pittsburgh and an MBA from Western Governor’s University. Donna is passionate about reading and the importance of access to books. She loves writing about her favorite books and movies and sharing it with her readers.
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