How to Lose Your Mind and Publish a Book

I’ve been missing a lot these last few weeks. My Instagram has been all but empty, and I started several articles, mostly about my general dissatisfaction with Christmas storming in like an elephant on meth before the Halloween wrappers were even cleaned up but posted none. Honestly, my creative brain was fully tapped out. It left the building for greener pastures. Those comprised playing Monopoly Go on my phone.

For years, I’ve wanted to write a novel. I’d start one, but with three kids and a full-time job, I just never found the time. Now, at the advanced age of 37, I’m feeling that ‘Oh God have I done the things I wanted, What if it’s too late, AHHHHHHHH’, an existential crisis? I won’t call it a midlife crisis because that hurts my feelings, but 37*2… we can all do the math. Over the summer, I decided I had to MAKE SHIT HAPPEN. I put aside the book I’ve been working on and instead thought I’d write a short novella about my least favorite holiday. Christmas. People like a quick read at the holidays and 17,000 to 30,000 words is far less daunting than 100,000.

Now, I remain not a Christmas girly. All the power to those that are, I’m also not one to rain on a parade, but I can’t write a hallmark movie. (Hot Frosty, I am sooo looking at you. What is going on there? I’m confused, concerned, upset. I don’t care if it isn’t Hallmark. Hallmark brought us this moment.) Instead, I added a slightly spooky, slightly ridiculous touch. So out with the big city, the girl goes to a small town to find the big city is killing her, in with haunted Christmas decor. The book is called ‘What Creatures Are Stirring’ and will be out on Amazon, and hopefully B&N.com and Bookshop on November 29th. Check it out if that’s your type of thing. I’ll link below.

The real chaos came not from writing, but from the endless things I was woefully ignorant of. Those little numbers on the back of the books? Yea, those are not free people! They will set you back $295 for 10, or $125 for 1. Then they want to charge you extra for the associated barcode. Absolute highway robbery. Want to format anything so it doesn’t look like your cat typed it? You need a program for that. Or the patience of a monk. I am not that person. The program took about 3 minutes to pump out the file and I felt like I was back in dial-up days. It was fun overall and I’m ready, almost, to dive into my next full-length novel.

Check it out here: What Creatures Are Stirring. The Ebook is up and the Print book will be there the day after Thanksgiving.

If you want a signed copy, I’ll be at the Little Green Bookstore in Zelienople on Dec 7th from 2 to 11, along with Abigail Drake, Eileen Enwright Hodgetts, and Kathleen Shoop.