Going To The Same Emergency Room Twice Is Not Awesome

We’ve had a cold going around the family. Nothing particularly serious, but after my middle child R couldn’t get rid of the cough, I took him in to the doctor. Pneumonia. Freaking Pneumonia. He didn’t even seem particularly ill. I had him stay home from school the next day and he spent the afternoon acting out his video games as he played. He did not, as I insisted, rest.

My Oldest, G, had been battling a migraine, and it had now been 5 days. We’d done the emergency medication, isolation and darkness, and even tried icing it. Nothing was working. At this point, we had to hit the ER for a migration cocktail. Fortunately, a rare occurrence as she is a little phobic of needles. I always inform the doctors of this. Who the hell am I to judge when butterflies send me into a panic, but nurses really need to know she is going to flip out when the needles appear. The nurse and doctor are great and as soon as the Benadryl part of the cocktail hits, she passes out. They decide to test her quickly for the standard fall lineup, covid, flu, RSV, and strep. All of that is spreading like wildfire, so I understand the precaution, but they throw me off when they order a chest x-ray. Yep. Another one down. Strep and pneumonia. We went in for a headache. She claimed she slept through almost everything but woke up briefly and heard me awkwardly joking with the nurse. I don’t remember this, but it does sound like me.

But we went to the same hospital twice right!? Yes. The following morning, I called my PCP to say that I’d been taking my inhaler and had been battling the cold my son had and probably needed to be seen and needed some steroids. See, I have moderate-to-severe asthma. I get bronchitis like 3 times a year, so this is pretty standard practice for me. And I cannot stress this enough although no one is going to believe it, least of all my mom who had been around R and I promised was safe, pneumonia is NOT contagious. I didn’t have any kind of sore throat, just a cough and shortness of breath. Part of my anxiety means I am worried often about unlikely medical ailments. I really should stop listening to This Podcast Will Kill You. It gives me ideas. But I was just going to head to my doctor and have them check my lungs.

My PCP would not see me. They sent me to the ER. Now I’m feeling both scared (Can you say Legionnaires?!) and a little silly. For reasons unknown, my local ER is packed on a Friday morning. Some guy is complaining that people say sorry too much, sorry, and a lady in terrible pain is not being taken back fast enough. When they call me in, same nurse as yesterday with G, I first apologize for being there again. Sorry guy in the waiting room, it’s like a reflex. Then I give her the whole rundown. Apparently they are 100% out of rooms so they run some tests, same as my daughter got plus an EKG because I’m old or can’t breathe and that hurts my chest? IDK. Then I get sent back to the waiting room again.

Once I’m pulled back, the doctor is also the same as last night. Do medical professionals sleep? Or do you periodically plug in somewhere and just charge up? I had only been gone for like 14 hours. And what do you know, I too have pneumonia and strep. I want to be clear that I did not infect myself. I work from home but my children and husband hang out at the germ factories that are schools all day. They did this to me. We didn’t even make one freaking week before everyone is laid up convalescing in bed. Except R, who feels fine because his body is inhospitable to germs. Mine, on the other hand, basically puts up a welcome sign and has a parade. My husband said the mere mention of illness is enough to get me sick. Which, as G would say, is bullying. My immune system sucks. It is what it is.

So what did I learn throughout this chaos? One, I cannot identify pneumonia effectively. Two, that I should possibly be more paranoid about our potential terrifying health conditions. Three, that it isn’t paranoia if they are really out to get you. Four, my husband is cruel and also told me about sloth fever and don’t look that up because I think we all have that too.

Be healthy everyone. And maybe Lysol your children when they come home.

And this is why I Can’t Be Trusted At Hospitals.